Influence Happens Before You Make Your Pitch

Imagine this. You walk into a room full of business people. Everyone’s got a pitch, a product, a service. Voices rise above the hum: “We’re the best at this.” “We’ve got the most innovative that.” You can almost feel the competition. And yet, in this sea of noise, a few people stand out because somehow their message just clicks. You find yourself nodding along, even if you hadn’t planned to. That’s the quiet power of influence.

And here’s the thing: influence isn’t about gimmicks, or a flashy campaign that fades once the next big idea rolls in. Real influence, the kind that turns curious strangers into loyal customers (and customers into community), comes from deeper, slower-burning strategies. It’s less about making noise, and more about aligning with what people truly value.

The Timeless Lessons of Carnegie

Dale Carnegie, whose classic How to Win Friends and Influence People is still going strong nearly 90 years after it was published, said it best: influence starts with human connection. Simple things, like showing genuine interest in someone else, listening instead of pushing, and finding ways to make people feel important. Carnegie reminded us that “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language.”

That sounds almost too obvious, right? But think about how often business conversations skip over this. We get so eager to present our offer that we forget to lay the groundwork of trust. Carnegie’s wisdom tells us: start with care, then the rest will follow.

Robert Cialdini and the Science of Persuasion

Fast forward to more modern research. Robert Cialdini, the psychologist behind Influence and Pre-Suasion, broke influence down into principles that have been tested again and again in the real world: reciprocity, commitment, social proof, authority, liking, and unity.

One of his sharpest insights is that quite often, influence happens before you make your pitch. In Pre-Suasion, he calls this setting the stage. The questions you ask, the environment you create, even the stories you tell in the lead-up, all prime the mind to be open to your idea. It’s like preparing the soil before planting the seed.

And then there’s reciprocity. Give people something of value: an insight, a tip, a small act of generosity, and you’ve sparked a natural human response: the desire to give back. In business, that might mean offering a free resource, or simply being generous with advice. The return often comes later, in loyalty and trust.

The Subtleties of Nick Kolenda

If Carnegie is about relationships, and Cialdini is about principles, then Nick Kolenda dives into the hidden, almost subconscious levers of influence. In his Methods of Persuasion, he unpacks how subtle word choices, framing, or expectations can shift someone’s perception without them even noticing.

For example, how you present an option—framing it as a gain versus a loss—can dramatically affect the decision. Or how planting a small idea early in the conversation can ripple forward into bigger choices later. These are nudges, not shoves. Done ethically, they smooth the path for someone to choose what you offer because it feels natural, even inevitable.

Strategic Plays from Alan Kelly

Now let’s zoom out. Influence isn’t only one-on-one; it happens at the scale of communities, industries, even markets. That’s where Alan Kelly’s The Elements of Influence comes in. He mapped out a kind of “periodic table” of influence plays: a well-structured way to see the tactics people use to shift opinion and behavior on a larger stage.

Think of them like chess moves. There’s “anchoring,” where you frame the debate around your terms. There’s “call out,” where you challenge an opposing idea. Each play has its place, and knowing how to use them, or spot when others are using them, turns influence into a game of strategy rather than chance.

Pulling It All Together

So what does this mean for convincing someone to join your business community or for selling your product in a way that lasts?

It means starting with trust, like Carnegie taught. It means priming the stage and respecting psychological triggers, like Cialdini showed. It means using subtle cues and framing, like Kolenda suggests. And it means seeing influence as part of a bigger strategic playbook, as Kelly lays out.

Here’s an example. Suppose you’re inviting entrepreneurs to join a new business platform. Instead of jumping straight into features and pricing, you first share a compelling story about entrepreneurs who felt isolated but found success when they connected.

• You frame the invitation as an opportunity to belong to something bigger than themselves (unity, one of Cialdini’s principles).

• You offer them a free tool or resource upfront (reciprocity).

• You design your message to highlight not just gains, but the risks of going it alone (framing).

  And you anchor the entire discussion around your platform being the place where real collaboration happens.

That’s influence in action. It isn't manipulative or flashy, but it's steady, convincing, and long-term.

BizDriver.ai and the Road Ahead

Now, let’s bring this home. At BizDriver.ai, the vision isn’t just to create a product. It’s to build a community, a network of business leaders, entrepreneurs, and creators who feel connected. Not just to a tool, but to a movement. By applying these timeless and modern strategies of influence, BizDriver.ai has the potential to do just that: to shift from being another platform in the noise to becoming the place where people want to belong.

Well, we are in the very beginning of the project, but we’ll be back to share the results of this journey with you. We'll let you know about the things that worked, what surprised us, and how our theory turned into practice. But for now, the invitation is simple: influence isn’t about tricks, it’s about trust, value, and vision. And when you get those right, the rest follows naturally.